She’s 8 or 10; she’s at a birthday party. All her friends are screaming of joy, running all around, dancing. She is hiding in the toilet and all she can think about is how to erase the traces of her crying red eyes.
She could not control the tears; the intense happiness of the others would make her feel just profoundly sad.
She was so young and felt so old; like a sad old man.
She could never comprehend the origin of this latent sadness in her but after years of cohabitation with this old sad man, she could finally draw his face.